HOLDER OF THE ‘RUSTY LEMON AWARD‘ FOR WORST CORPORATE PERFORMANCE PROMPTLY OUT OF THE STARTING BLOCKS IN THE NEW YEAR TO BEGIN TITLE DEFENSE
(Posted 01st January 2019)
(Picture of my neighbourhood for much of the past hour)
Only minutes into the new year did notorious #DownWithUmeme launch their title defense, clearly intent to retain the ‘Rusty Lemon Award‘ for another year, after already bagging the (dis)honour for the past decade.
They had by mid 2018 already held an unassailable lead in the contest and were once again runaway winners of the trophy.
Having trained hard throughout December with multiple outages were the Dark Lords from Uganda swift out of the blocks, even though several minutes late after midnight, to inflict a first outage of the new year on Ugandans who had celebrations and merry making in mind rather than running for candles and searching their pockets for match boxes and lighters.
While power was restored some 15 minutes later did a second and much longer outage subsequently strike, at which stage #DownWithYouKnowWho then asked the public to bear with them.
Torches went on as Ugandans swept their neighbourhoods for bears, but only turned up chicken and goats, suggesting those bears had long died being overworked by #DownWith.
Suggestions that the national power deniers were in cohoots with a certain ministry, trying to get Ugandans into their beds rather then dancing the night away and perhaps engaging in less than entirely moral activities till the early hours could not be confirmed as inquisitive texts were not answered.
For all those fellow Ugandans, regularly suffering from power outages, I hope you enjoyed the satire article – mentioned specifically so that the rather hapless and unimaginative internet police does not get the wrong idea that this was actually entirely serious …