A WEDDING IN THE FAMILY – THE ULTIMATE TEST OF ORGANISATIONAL SKILLS
(Posted 08th June 2014)
It has been 8 days and a bit since my daughter’s wedding here in Kampala, all guests have left and she has followed her hubby back to Addis Ababa, where the young couple will start their first steps together into married life, and it is hoped a life of lasting bliss and happiness.
After a professional lifetime in tourism and aviation, organizational skills are by and large taken for granted, to arrange safaris, travel and trips for others, mainly, apart from my more recent profession as a travel writer, which has me test my skills for my own trips across the region or to the islands out in the Indian Ocean.
With things literally always going to plan when I travel myself and largely due to the choice of partners like airlines and hotel groups, there was no doubt in my mind that being part of planning my daughter’s wedding, it would be equally a walk in the park. With guests coming in from Ethiopia, Kenya, Rwanda, South Sudan and as far as Belgium there was certainly no shortage of opportunities to make sure that all the travels went on smoothly, in some cases extra baggage allowances procured, seats pre-selected, hotel rooms booked and transport arranged.
The fact that it is only now, as the wedding is over and the newlyweds have left the Presidential Suite of the Sheraton Kampala Hotel after their ‘Minimoon’ to return to Addis Ababa, I am finally able to collect my thoughts and start to write about this speaks a different language though. The challenges to deliver a perfect wedding day for my daughter and her now husband, were legion and then some and again, only successfully mastered through the choice of the right partners, when it became apparent that this was not going to be the usual Friday night BBQ for 20 or more guests who’d come for a fun night out at the lake shores.
I had attended many weddings over the decades here in East Africa, some of them simple affairs and others quite lavish, some only sort of small after-parties when the eloped couple returned home with the news, some big parties in homes large enough to accommodate the numbers and then of course those mega weddings where guests are counted in hundreds rather than tens, from five hundred to over two and a half thousand – the latter ones giving you the feeling the entire home villages had crammed into the venue, and the venue of course being one of the major hotels.
There the challenges started, to reconcile the couple’s wish for a small intimate wedding and reception and the demands of African tradition and customs to be significantly larger and to have, yes, the entire village around.
Eventually that was sorted out, the numbers limited for the evening reception and the dinner to just a hundred friends, relatives and a handful of neighbours and the venue chosen was the lake shores residence of yours truly.
NOT taking place at a hotel, that called for catering, which in view of the time of year brought with it the need for a tent to guard against the follies of the weather gods and that added rats tail of logistics involved to cater for all eventualities.
Options were presented, looked at, costed and then tossed about in at times rather animated discussions before the decisions, three weeks prior to the event, had to be taken to be sure that all required services could be contracted in time and would be available on the day.
The biggest decisions were the two regarding the caterers and the venue decorators and likes and allegiances were put to the test when those not chosen had to be told they had not made the final cut. Encouraged by the recent upswing in F&B fortunes of the Sheraton Kampala Hotel, where a new chef had taken the reigns in the kitchen and made big changes in no time, we did seal the deal with the Sheraton. If swollen tummies and concealed burps are anything to go by, they did deliver a varied menu selection of starters, main courses and deserts, and a giant three tier wedding cake to absolute perfection on the night.
Service was simply superb and Danushka Kumara, the Sheraton’s Executive Chef, was at hand himself to make sure that his team performed at 110 percent level while the service team was ably directed by Banqueting Manager Ronald Safari who had his team provide that extra attention. Equally important of course was the tent, with a transparent canopy no less, the flower arrangements made of white roses, the lighting in the gardens, the sound system, band and the DJ, the latter none other than the brother of the bride, evoking those ‘awesome’ shouts as guests walked into the compound, greeted by a glass of chilled champagne, or the fruit juice option for those on a non-alcoholic regime. Soft tunes allowed the guests to mingle and actually converse, without having to shout on top of their voices as often seen elsewhere, and as the crowd slowly gathered, guests were invited to sit down and enjoy the fruits of months of labour to make this all happen.
The two days prior had been filled with frantic activities, and all dues being paid in full on signing of the respective contracts, busy bees were swarming the gardens to set up the tent, added mobile washrooms, laid cables under the turf to light up at least a dozen of our several dozen trees, brought tables, chairs, chafing dishes, crockery, cutlery, glasses and linen, delivered the beers, soft drinks, wines and spirits and finally the flowers, fresh from the florists, setting the scene for a night when it was to snow food and rain drinks on the guests.
Which left the penultimate challenge, the weather. The previous days were marked by heavy rains and quietly, without anyone knowing, an axe was sunk into the soil at a remote part of the property, surrounded by a ring of ash, a recipe of the old days when such functions were held open air and rain would have been a most unwelcome guest. To be certain were the known rain makers all sent on assignments far out of Kampala and lo and behold, when the wedding day dawned it was to emerge as a perfect day with few clouds, blue skies and day time temperatures which lingered into the night, stirred by a light breeze from the lake which left the scent from the flower beds and Frangipani trees mingle with the scent of the candles and the fine perfumes worn by the ladies who had come to grace the occasion.
The final test though was the Ugandan bureaucracy. Unlike the Seychelles, which has turned itself into one of the world’s greatest honeymoon destinations and of late has positioned itself as one of the world’s greatest wedding destinations, Uganda has not yet caught on to this niche which could bring in hundreds of wannabe couples with hundreds of more guests in their tow, to get married in the rainforests, on the lakes and rivers, rafting down the Nile, standing on the mountains or looking across the savannah of one of our national parks, bringing in much needed revenue to the country. That is a topic surely for the future but let it suffice that eventually all the challenges were mastered, and, good to form, the file at the Registrar’s offices traced the day prior and left on top of the pile to be the first seen and handled on the day. It had been prepped, given one final look-over by officials and then locked into a cabinet, ready for the noon wedding on the 06th of June. Not trusting that however an added buffer was inserted by having an advocate of the High Court be at the registrar’s offices an hour ahead tasked to do but one thing, to have the paper work ready, the ink pad for the stamp refilled and the small ceremonial room ready for the couple to be.
One the day, and at the appointed pick up hour, did the couple emerge from their separate rooms at the Sheraton Kampala Hotel where they dressed up and got ready – strictly ensuring that the groom would not see the bride in her wedding dress before the time had come – to be driven to the registrar’s office. It was sort of dashing lingering hopes that they would at the very last moment accept to come to the Sheraton gardens to perform the ceremony there, but alas, it was a quick drive there and back after the oaths were sworn, the affidavits signed and entered and the couple declared husband and wife. Should I add that entrance into the ceremonial room was barred, so that no pranksters could raise any last minute objections, and surprisingly, that question was never officially asked to ‘speak up now or forever hold you peace’. Also missing were the words ‘You may kiss the bride’ but they kissed anyway as couples in love do.
The picture taking session at the Sheraton gardens was conducted in bright sunshine, followed by lunch and then a rest for the newlywed couple, to be ready for their big night where they were to appear for the first time to a larger public as Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Delbar.
On a lighter note did the mother of the bride mention that good marriages are made in heaven, but swiftly added that so was thunder and lightning, reminding them of the realities of life ahead and the need to work on their relationship every day, so that renewed sunshine can follow the rainy days and love songs can again take over from the sound of thunder.
Marrying my daughter off was an emotional experience, a moment of pride as well as of reflection and her husband being as good a man as they come, in the eyes of this very critical father anyway, she has added another umbilical cord as the one with her family will never be severed of course even when she has her own family in years to come.
Time to move on but not without first saying a big thank you to all those who helped and contributed to make this first wedding of my two children a day and night to remember. Outstanding were the entire staff of the Sheraton Kampala Hotel, starting with Joan Kasozi who was our first point of contact, Sam Kasule and his F&B team and of course Chef Danushka Kumara, and last but not least the waiters and servers who made the young couple, in their own words, feel like royalty.
Family feuds were put in neutral for the time it took to prepare for the wedding and see it through the stages of the day, distant friends became close friends again and business acquaintances showed their true colours by coming up with some spectacular services, delivered on the day to absolute perfection. Notably did this prompt quite a number of future couples to be to ask for the respective contacts to make sure their own upcoming weddings are equally well prepared and catered for.
For yours truly it is back to work now in earnest, having shelved a major invitational trip prior to the wedding and another in the days immediately afterwards, and for my daughter, after her return to Addis Ababa it will mark the start of her life as a married woman.
Bliss and blessings, happiness and good fortunes are my wishes for them as they start their life together in earnest now. It is a Saturday afternoon as I write this, the silence in the house quite deafening after all the visitors, in house guests and the apple of my eye have left, something I will have to get used to before my next journey comes knocking. And I guess I will more often than not look at the pictures stored on my netbook, my phone and the new one in my purse and then delve into my memories, a hankie, just to be sure, at hand.
One Response
Well done Prof, a proud dad and what could bring more hapiness than seeing your baby girl enjoy her big day! Wishing her every bit of marital bliss!